I am very emotional breakdown currently...since yesterday
my decision to put Bit Bit to sleep has finally came into reality
It has already been almost going to be 12 hours since his passing...
He was not feeling well since last past 5 weeks when my thread on the lump..
He was ok from time to time but due to his old age
He starts to deteriorate since last week when i noticed that he could not walk.
I have to carry him from one place to another or leave him one corner to enjoy his days. His appetite has drop tremendously for the last 2 days and it hurts me so much every time i look at him. I guess he is in pain and very tired but he cannot tell me.
Yesterday whole night i didnt sleep. I finally decided that i put him to rest for now. This morning i gave him his last meal. He tried to eat in front of me. While i feed him, my tear flows again and again. I wish i could do miracles as i said i wish to give me him extra lifes if i could minus mine. I just cannot let him go eventhough the fact he is already 8 years ++ old
I took him to the vet and bid his final farewell. The ordeal was like 10 mins but to me its like a neverending that my whole world turn into black dark surrounding. First jab was ok but he was still breathing slowly. Doctor gave him the second jab before he sleeps. I wish i could turn back time but i know he is being suffering for the past 2 days. I could not do anything but to see him so down, lifeless when i call him. I know he dont want to leave me as i dont want to but i just want to make him comfortable for the last time.
My heart shattered into million pieces right now. My life will never be the same again. Someone is missing in my life. Everyday that i look forward after work to look at him is no longer there. The happy moment will only me memories in my mind now.
The parting day has finally come.... I'm so lost now.........without him..
