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  #21  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:34 PM
June June is offline
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Default Dalam dilema

Farah,dah kahwin berapa lama?? Akak dah 10 thn.Tp akak kahwin lambat sebab nak tumpukan perhatian pada career before settle down. Suami akak pernah cakap,kita klu nak berkahwin kena buang suma sifat sifat buruk bukan tunggu kahwin baru buang. Sebab klu dah kahwin baru buang dah terlambat. Dia katabiasanya kita berharap partner kita akan berubah bila dah kahwin is wrong. Berubah sebelum kahwin barulah perkahwinan blh bertahan.

Perkahwinan itu satu perkongsian.Manusia tak perfect. Kita kena tolerate each other punya perangai samada buruk dan baik. Suami akak mmg tak suka kucing.Awal awal dia dah sound kat akak. Tp bila akak beriya iya nak pelihara kucing coz kesian sgt,dia kata itu tanggunjawab akak. Tp lama kelamaan dia lemah hati tgk kucing tu dan kata tak sampai ati tgk akak sorang sorang uruskan kucing. Ini yg dinamakan toleransi dan perkongsian.

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Semoga bertemu dengan org yg sehati dan sejiwa.Yg pasti kenal lah dulu hati budinyer.Mcm farrah dulu mmg nampak dia sygkan kucing.Terlepas pandang yg rumah parent dia takder kucing.Org yg sygkan n sukakan kucing biasanyer heritage.Mcm parent f sygkan kucing....all my siblings pun sygkan kucing.Td check up Blood presurre low sesgt.81/55.Kena bising lak dgn Doctor...Maybe coz mlm tadi tak leh tidur n still worried dgn my babies kat rumah coz my hubby ader kat rumah now.Rasa mcm nak balik rumah kejap tgk derang tp kena speed lak.Tawakkal jer lah...
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  #22  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:37 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

tetibe kene add salah satu kriteria for husband..have to love cats and sanggup jaga kucing i..

susah rasanye nak cari kan?...

to farahnize..sabar n doa byk2..
u are heavily need to control your emotions..
it does affect the baby
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  #23  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:41 PM
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Default Dalam dilema

Not neccessarily kena cari husband yg sayang kucing. Tp cari partner yg boleh berkompromi dan tolerate dgn hobby dan minat kita. Itulah yg dipanggil perkahwinan.Klu suma benda asyik nak ikut kepala sendiri, lbh baik tak payah kahwin.

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Originally Posted by glee View Post
tetibe kene add salah satu kriteria for husband..have to love cats and sanggup jaga kucing i..

susah rasanye nak cari kan?...

to farahnize..sabar n doa byk2..
u are heavily need to control your emotions..
it does affect the baby
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  #24  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:45 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Semoga bertemu dengan org yg sehati dan sejiwa.Yg pasti kenal lah dulu hati budinyer.Mcm farrah dulu mmg nampak dia sygkan kucing.Terlepas pandang yg rumah parent dia takder kucing.Org yg sygkan n sukakan kucing biasanyer heritage.Mcm parent f sygkan kucing....all my siblings pun sygkan kucing.Td check up Blood presurre low sesgt.81/55.Kena bising lak dgn Doctor...Maybe coz mlm tadi tak leh tidur n still worried dgn my babies kat rumah coz my hubby ader kat rumah now.Rasa mcm nak balik rumah kejap tgk derang tp kena speed lak.Tawakkal jer lah...
Betul, sebab tu lah orang tua-tua nasihatkan bahawa kalau kita hendak tahu perangai orang tu yg sebenar, selidik tengok keadaan keluarganya, perangai dan tingkah laku ahli keluarga. It is a very good indication sebab normally semasa dating atau romance, all of us put on our best behaviour, susah nak mengetahui yg sebenar.

Only after the chase (utk mendapatkan benda yg kita ingini) dan mencapai hasrat, do we human beings go back to our normal ways. Macam nak dapat kucing cantik juga la, semua senyum dan jawab ya, ya, promise akan sayang sampai akhir hayat tetapi ... only those yg benar dan ikhlas hati akan berbuat demikian.

Saya ada membaca buku bertajuk "Inside The Mind Of The Angry and Abusive Man" (aku minat banyak benda, bukan kucing sahaja ) ditulis oleh seorang counsellor yg specialise on abusive men on parole and are forced to undergo program beliau. Kalau mereka gagal dalam program, mereka dihantar terus kembali ke penjara. They are all police cases.

Dan beliau berkata, "Abusive men pandai manis mulut tunjuk kelakuan baik di hadapan orang lain, tapi they are monsters at home. Mereka pandai menyembunyikan perangai buruk mereka daripada orang lain supaya tidak diketahui orang dan amat payah utk mendakwa mereka. They are very cunning and manipulative".

Jadi, selepas membaca buku tersebut (which is a book every marriage counsellor MUST read) I believe, hanya Farrah sorang sahaja yg benar-benar mengetahui kekejaman suami (mak bapak pun tak tahu), kadang-kadang cerita pun orang lain tak percaya, kata suami tu kan baik .... seolah-olah Farrah yg bersalah.
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  #25  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:50 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Not neccessarily kena cari husband yg sayang kucing. Tp cari partner yg boleh berkompromi dan tolerate dgn hobby dan minat kita. Itulah yg dipanggil perkahwinan.Klu suma benda asyik nak ikut kepala sendiri, lbh baik tak payah kahwin.
betul tuh..tapi kalau awal2 je tolerate..then jadi mcm farah ni...
susah gak la..tp tak tau la..serah pada rezeki...
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  #26  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:57 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by June View Post
... Tp lama kelamaan dia lemah hati tgk kucing tu dan kata tak sampai ati tgk akak sorang sorang uruskan kucing. Ini yg dinamakan toleransi dan perkongsian.
Bukan, kawan ... ini dinamakan " L-O-V-E "! True love ... serious, I am not joking! Love is kind, love is giving, love is caring, love is wanting the best for the other person .....

Farah pergi klinik pada saat nie pun dia tak temankan, duduk kat umah ajer? Aisehmannnnn, tak patuh ... tak patut!
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  #27  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:58 PM
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Default Dalam dilema

Itu pasal orang tua tua kata klu tengah bercinta buka telinga,mata sebesar besar.maksudnya kena chk betul betul. Klu dah kahwin mata dan telinga tutup. Maksudnya kita kena terima buruk dan baik pasangan kita. Jd pilihlah dgn bijak. Jgn hanyut dgn perasaan cinta je tp menutup mata kepada perkara perkara penting. Masa bercinta kita buta dgn kenyataan tp bila dah kahwin baru kelam kabut.

Quote:
Originally Posted by glee View Post
betul tuh..tapi kalau awal2 je tolerate..then jadi mcm farah ni...
susah gak la..tp tak tau la..serah pada rezeki...
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  #28  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:02 PM
June June is offline
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Default Dalam dilema

Bro,klu cinta je tak cukup. Ada org cinta tp malas nak tlg bini

Quote:
Originally Posted by FurKids View Post
Bukan, kawan ... ini dinamakan " L-O-V-E "! True love ... serious, I am not joking! Love is kind, love is giving, love is caring, love is wanting the best for the other person .....

Farah pergi klinik pada saat nie pun dia tak temankan, duduk kat umah? Aisehmannnnn!
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  #29  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:04 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Itu pasal orang tua tua kata klu tengah bercinta buka telinga,mata sebesar besar.maksudnya kena chk betul betul. Klu dah kahwin mata dan telinga tutup. Maksudnya kita kena terima buruk dan baik pasangan kita. Jd pilihlah dgn bijak. Jgn hanyut dgn perasaan cinta je tp menutup mata kepada perkara perkara penting. Masa bercinta kita buta dgn kenyataan tp bila dah kahwin baru kelam kabut.
Itu cakap sonang la, June ... sebab masa bercinta tu walaupun buka mata luas-luas, semua yg nampak hanya bulan dan bintang lah ... jerawat bosar merah atas hidung pun tak nampak wan ... but we try ...
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  #30  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:06 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Bro,klu cinta je tak cukup. Ada org cinta tp malas nak tlg bini
Itu bukan true love daaaa ... true love is caring .... wanting the best for the other person, la linnngggggg .......

.... larrriieeeeeee !!!!!!!!
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  #31  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:08 PM
June June is offline
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Default Dalam dilema

Bro,itulah aku cakap td.pasal bercinta punya pasal yg buruk durang tak nampak suma nampak yg cantik.

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Originally Posted by FurKids View Post
Itu cakap sonang la, June ... sebab masa bercinta tu walaupun buka mata luas-luas, semua yg nampak hanya bulan dan bintang lah ... jerawat bosar merah atas hidung pun tak nampak wan ... but we try ...
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  #32  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:24 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by FurKids View Post
Bukan, kawan ... ini dinamakan " L-O-V-E "! True love ... serious, I am not joking! Love is kind, love is giving, love is caring, love is wanting the best for the other person .....

Farah pergi klinik pada saat nie pun dia tak temankan, duduk kat umah ajer? Aisehmannnnn, tak patuh ... tak patut!
2nd preggy nie mmg tak pernah lagi suh dia teman gi klinik.Even my mother in law pun terkejut anak dia perangai cam tuh.Tp i lega coz i'm learning to be more independent all this while.Masa bercinta dulu biler kena reject sampai menangis2 kat tgh halaman umah.Terkejut my parent!!Ntahlah!!Man always like that kot...Aper pun My baby n my anak2 bulus is my priority now....Looking forward to find better solution even lum ader petunjuk paper pun lagi.Anyway...ur guys opinion byk bg i idea n buat i fikir byk benda...Thanks guys....Ur help are much apprecciated
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  #33  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:44 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

asalamualaikum farah...
sy tadi tergarak hati nk baca post ne.sy just nak farah jaga diri,anak&kandungan baik2..walaupun farah susah hati tapi cuba sedaya upaya untuk pastikan yg farah tak mengabaikan kesihatan diri, tak bagus untuk kandungn.sy doakan anak2 bulus farah ok.harap2 suami cuma cakap untuk takutkan farah je dan moga2 dia tak sampai hati nak cederakan kucing2 tu.insyaallah...
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  #34  
Old 07-01-2010, 03:57 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by aina.mj View Post
asalamualaikum farah...
sy tadi tergarak hati nk baca post ne.sy just nak farah jaga diri,anak&kandungan baik2..walaupun farah susah hati tapi cuba sedaya upaya untuk pastikan yg farah tak mengabaikan kesihatan diri, tak bagus untuk kandungn.sy doakan anak2 bulus farah ok.harap2 suami cuma cakap untuk takutkan farah je dan moga2 dia tak sampai hati nak cederakan kucing2 tu.insyaallah...
Waalaikumsalam aina.mj...Thanks for ur advice...I boleh cuba tp hati perempuan nie susah nak control.Sik memikirkan camner nak solve this prob.I jugak harap Apa yg u ckp bout my hubby tu betul...But i know him...I takut jer balik nnti bebudk tu dah takder kat rumah.If dia 'buang' bebudk tu means dia 'buang' jugak i dr life dia.Maybe dia marah sgt coz i dah abiskan duit utk spay/neuture derang tp still adopt stray cat.Tp bg pencinta kucing mcm we all kat cnie mesti setuju yg kter tak nak usaha kter stop mcm tu jer....maklumlah ..kiter kan life saver...tul tak ??
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  #35  
Old 07-01-2010, 04:13 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Not neccessarily kena cari husband yg sayang kucing. Tp cari partner yg boleh berkompromi dan tolerate dgn hobby dan minat kita. Itulah yg dipanggil perkahwinan.Klu suma benda asyik nak ikut kepala sendiri, lbh baik tak payah kahwin.
I agree with that. I don't mind if my partner is not as fanatic about animals. But please tolerate my passion. =)

farrah, i'm so sorry something like this happens. I dunno what to say. I don't like to encourage separation but this guy......... too much. Nothing much I can help, but just a word of encouragement to you.God bless. We will pray for you and your cuties =) stay strong. hugsssss
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  #36  
Old 07-01-2010, 04:16 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Waalaikumsalam aina.mj...Thanks for ur advice...I boleh cuba tp hati perempuan nie susah nak control.Sik memikirkan camner nak solve this prob.I jugak harap Apa yg u ckp bout my hubby tu betul...But i know him...I takut jer balik nnti bebudk tu dah takder kat rumah.If dia 'buang' bebudk tu means dia 'buang' jugak i dr life dia.Maybe dia marah sgt coz i dah abiskan duit utk spay/neuture derang tp still adopt stray cat.Tp bg pencinta kucing mcm we all kat cnie mesti setuju yg kter tak nak usaha kter stop mcm tu jer....maklumlah ..kiter kan life saver...tul tak ??
Yes, you're a life saver, farrah =)

He has no right to frust about you spending the money to sterilize these cats if you use your own hard earned money. maybe he's pissed off that you spend the money on cats instead of him. But he has his own money, doesn't he? ishhhhh don't have to frust where your money go. besides taking care of the cats, you never neglect your household and your kids. so he has no reason to complain..... blueksss
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  #37  
Old 07-01-2010, 04:26 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

saya pun pernah melalui kes2 sebegini bezanya bukanlah kerana kucing tapi bende lain. ape yg saya buat ialah berkorban ape saja. lelama nanti asben akan paham jugak bile kite berkorban demi untuk dia kan.. so fikirkanlah..
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  #38  
Old 07-01-2010, 05:00 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by mieraonepj View Post
saya pun pernah melalui kes2 sebegini bezanya bukanlah kerana kucing tapi bende lain. ape yg saya buat ialah berkorban ape saja. lelama nanti asben akan paham jugak bile kite berkorban demi untuk dia kan.. so fikirkanlah..
Bukan semua suami/orang mcm tu, ada yg tidak berubah walaupun partner mengorbankan segala-gala. If he truly loves you, yes ... tapi if he does not truly love you or care for you, absolutely no, and it shows ... how can you neglect your wife who is 7 mths pregnant with your own flesh and blood and having low blood pressure nanti pitam jatuh dan cederakan diri? Tak kira kucing ke benda lain ...

Farrah, betul, jika dia buang kucing you, dia buang sebahagian daripada Farrah sebab the cats are a part of you and your heart because you love those cats. Saya pun pernah kata the same thing, "My cats are a part of me, we are together ... if you want me, you have to accept my cats as well because they are a part of me and I love them. If you reject my cats, you reject me as well, we are one package ... they have been in my life long before you".

Jay kat kampung lama pun pernah kata the same thing, "She must accept me WITH my cats because they have been in my life before any girl and they are a part of me".

Be strong and true to yourself, Farrah.
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  #39  
Old 07-01-2010, 05:07 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

hmmmmmmmmm.....
lama dah tak berforum, owh donno why..
apa zee merepek ni...
nak post panjang2 tapi tak terkata2 lagi....

apa2pun kak farrah, be strong k!
kami sume support kak farrah!
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Old 07-01-2010, 05:23 PM
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Default Dalam dilema

Klu dah berkorban segalanya pastu suami buat dek what are u going to do?? Kita sbg pompuan kenalah tau hak sbg isteri dirmh. Bukan kita saja yg kena mengalah selalu dgn suami dan ikut telunjuk suami walau tau benda tu tak betul. Lelaki skrg tak sama dgn dulu. Org pompuan walau sekolah tinggi mcm mana pun bila bab hati dan perasaan akan longlai dah kalah walaupun tau benda tu salah. Org lelaki pula mengambil kesempatan atas kelemahan kita utk manfaat dia.

Emak saya selalu pesan,biar pun dah ada suami u must have your own money and be independent woman. Bila suami cari lain atau mati/jodoh tak panjang at least kita blh bangun dan cari kehidupan yg baru dari berendam air mata tiap tiap ari sedangkan si polan tu tengah bersuka ria.

Jd kesimpulannya, berkorban pun ada batas dan had. Jgn smp diri sendiri yg terkorban. Is not worth it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mieraonepj View Post
saya pun pernah melalui kes2 sebegini bezanya bukanlah kerana kucing tapi bende lain. ape yg saya buat ialah berkorban ape saja. lelama nanti asben akan paham jugak bile kite berkorban demi untuk dia kan.. so fikirkanlah..
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