[ashleywong]

hi lynie

how are fluffers and cocochino now? have they gained more confidence? do you think it would help if you put their cage in the living room area in the evening when you are home and there are more "human" traffic in the living room - i read about this method once but have not tried it before.


i remember my own cat, coco (coco again, coincidence? same name, same type of behaviour). i'm not sure how to describe her. she's not exactly timid but she's not exactly brave either. her own siblings nicky and anna had learned to adjust well to live with us since being rescued (rescued last march/april 07) but not coco. i'm not sure whether her behaviour changed from the time of ginger's dissapearance or she's like that. we noticed that she won't want to join in play activities with us and the rest of the cat, she'd eat the food we give her but she'd be jittery and alert, any sound of us coming near or walking nearby, she'd stop eating and run away. most of the time, when we're home, she hides behind the curtain, underneath the sofa, behind the tv console, etc, etc. we find it difficult to communicate with her. even the act of wanting to stroke her is not allowe d- she'd either freeze with a panic look on her face or hiss at us and maybe swat at us with her claws. in the end, we learn to leave her alone and she became more unhappy.

i then read a book bout cats behaviour and came across this suggestion to keep the timid cat in a cage and put her underneath a table (so she feel safe) and "force" her to accept the presence of other people. i don't have the heart to try it out on coco - just going after her to take her out form underneath the sofa or behind the curtain will be traumatic for her.

in the end, i tried another approach. sort of a soft approach. my sis and i made sure that
1) we are "gentle" around her presence - meaning our tone of voice, our action, our movement are paced, measured and calm, voice no any angry or excited or nervous, same for action, even gestures, etc

2) we adopt a cheerful yet gentle tone of voice when speaking to her, and we make sure we speak to her a lot. matching our demeanour to our words - we believe they understand and do get all the non-verbal cues from us including our feelings and emotions

3) when we speak with her, we avoid using words that may have negative overtone or meaning (thus impacting on our body language as well as facial expression).

4) we make sure we speak positively of her and to her, no talking down to her, no matter what she has done, we take the approach that it was not intentional and perhaps she wish to gain our attention by doing something that's sure to gain our attention

5) give her lots of praises, quite effusive in fact but always gentle in tone. and tell her constantly we love her.


slowly she came out of her "shell" and let us approach her. in fact the moment she came out of her shell, it was as if the old coco has dissapeared. we find that she is a smart girl very active and very affectionate, she will answer when we call her and she will sometimes update us on what her day has been when we return home from work and she's always on hand to greet us, vocally as well as through action - by rubbing her body against our legs.

since we have 4 cats to greet, each get their turn and if she feel it's taking too long for us to turn to her, she'd take matters into her hand, and will jump up to the console table so she can see us at eye level.

in the evening, when she's feeling like turning down for the night, she'd always ask us for a tummy rub and nuzzling and fussing. without fail. sometimes it's a given, about the same time, she'd jump up to the tree house, and my sis will give her some quality time. sometimes we forgot and she'd politely meowed her request. she doesn't fuss if we forgot but when it's time to turn down the light, she'd make known her request more insistently but politely.

and she doesn't need us to entertain her all the time, she can play by herself and doens't make a mess of the house - unless she is stressed out then she may engage in urine marking.

it's been a long time but i'm so glad we are able to sort it out and she's worth every single effort and cent i've spent on this "project".

well, this sounds like a "congratulatory" effort for myself but honestly i hope to share what i've gone through with coco because i believe that her behaviour is not uncommon and may be faced by just another other person with a cat at one point in time.

do update me on how fluffers and cocochino are doing.

oh, one more thing - we noticed that our furkids get upset when we're upset or when we raise our voice, whether we're talking excitedly, quarelling, having a heated discussion or just calling out to another from one end of the house to another. we try to not to do too many things to upset them. they do catch our emotions and act accordingly without understanding what it means to us. maybe this account for their nervousness and edginess