[nurinz_zidan]

i took her at the adoption drive bcoz shes the least wanted kitten but i like black cats. She looked a bit sick and the caretaker said she'll b back to normal after just one flu injection,,but she just got worse even with many kinds of treatment.i had her for a month full of gruel trying to get her to take meds, eat,drink and cheer up while cleaning the mess she made all the time.
brought her hometown for raya haji.at raya night i saw her walking wobbly.comes the first raya takbir in the morning,she starts spasming,i knew she was dying.i expressed my love for her thru tears and wails and i was ready to let her go.but she took very long to die.just keep spasming and went flat intermittently while letting small cry wen i call to her.i had to euthanize her at vet at 3pm to help her departure and end her suffering.but people just dint get wat i was doing with the ugly disgusting cat.there was suggestion to bring her out of the house to die ''so she can go'',which my husband comply.i brought her in bcoz she was swarmed with ants and fleas.my god her eyes fluttered wen the ants bite them. and there was opinion that injecting her to die is ''ish x sampai hati lah''(cruel).one sayd just let her die cz shes gona die eventually anyway.I wish i she dint hv to endure the agony that long.
wen shes dead i left her body in big dumpster bcoz i had to go raya at people's house on the way back,but i just couldnt bear it so i returned,climbed the big dumpster,took her back and buried her properly.once i adopt her,no matter how meaningless she look like to others,i gotta pay my responsibility to her to the very end.i didnt say last words at her grave cz i dun wana be crying at people's raya open house.
she was my first cat of me and my husband.her name was emily.i hope she would forgive me for sometimes things got very tense during her sickness.sometimes i lost my patience. but evryting i did was because i want her to fight to get well.i know she'll nver disappear from my heart.i have other cat,but i dint erase her name from the thing once meant for her.poor emily,for a month i had her i only saw her once open her eyes wide and tried to swat the toy.only once.