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  #1  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:22 AM
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Unhappy Dalam dilema

Hi friends, kat cni nak luahkan perasaan n nak dptkan pendapat dr u all semua as a cat lovers.I berasal dari family yg mmg terlalu sayangkan kucing.Sekali bela kat umah tak pernah kurang 20 ekor.Even masa stay kat kampus pun i boleh bela kucing 2/3 ekor.Takdir tuhan i bertemu jodoh dgn sorg lelaki.At the beginning dia nie nampk cam syg sgt kat kucing..Too HIPOKRIT!!!.My parent punyer kucing tu dialah attend beli ikan, siangkan ikan, rebus n bagi mkn.We all beli rumah lot tepi so i boleh buat rumah utk my cats n now i dah ader 16 cats.Since i dah pregnant our second baby, his attitud dah mula berubah.Mlm tadi dia mengamuk coz my cats pecahkan one pot water fountain dia..I promise akn repay tp dia makin naik angin.So, dia ckp if ikutkn hati dia nak kawin lain if i tak buang anak2 bulus.Dia suh pilih samada my cats or dia.The worse part baru td dia msg dia nak cincang my cats sekor2.I tak tahu nak buat apa now..yg pasti i tak nak lost my cats..i buntu sesgt.PLzzz help me.. i tak tahu nak story kat saper coz bukn senang nak cari cat lovers mcm u all.
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  #2  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:31 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Show him the door, friend ... you are pregnant with his child right now and he is doing such cruel things to you ... now, the object of his wrath is your beloved cats, if you get rid of the cats, besok dia akan cari pasal benda lain pulak ... such a man is not worth your love ... kalau dia nak kawin lain, persilakan dia, you might as well get a divorce. He has shown his true colors. Your cats will continue to love you unconditionally. I hope you are financially independent, if not, somehow you will get by, sekarang wanita are very capable of taking care of themselves sebab dapat peluang memperolehi a good education. And women are strong, it is the men yg kuat ego generally tapi tak berkemampuan. Society has changed and many opportunities are open to women.

I am sorry to hear about your sorrows and I pray for you and your kids (furry and non-furry), kawan! Be strong, jangan kasi dia bully you!

Farrahnize, get help from Wan (Kyzoor) ... call handphone dia mintak tolong. Your hubby is a bully ... orang bully akan takot kalau dapat orang lain threaten dia and Wan can help you.
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Old 07-01-2010, 11:38 AM
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Default Dalam dilema

Farah, akak have to agree with FK dear. Skrg dia buat camni dgn kucing,apa jd klu nanti anak you all pula yg pecahkan benda kat rmh?? You deserve someone better than this man.

Klu dia mencari alasan nak kahwin lain just because kucing tu pecahkan brg kat rmh mmg dia loser.


Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Hi friends, kat cni nak luahkan perasaan n nak dptkan pendapat dr u all semua as a cat lovers.I berasal dari family yg mmg terlalu sayangkan kucing.Sekali bela kat umah tak pernah kurang 20 ekor.Even masa stay kat kampus pun i boleh bela kucing 2/3 ekor.Takdir tuhan i bertemu jodoh dgn sorg lelaki.At the beginning dia nie nampk cam syg sgt kat kucing..Too HIPOKRIT!!!.My parent punyer kucing tu dialah attend beli ikan, siangkan ikan, rebus n bagi mkn.We all beli rumah lot tepi so i boleh buat rumah utk my cats n now i dah ader 16 cats.Since i dah pregnant our second baby, his attitud dah mula berubah.Mlm tadi dia mengamuk coz my cats pecahkan one pot water fountain dia..I promise akn repay tp dia makin naik angin.So, dia ckp if ikutkn hati dia nak kawin lain if i tak buang anak2 bulus.Dia suh pilih samada my cats or dia.The worse part baru td dia msg dia nak cincang my cats sekor2.I tak tahu nak buat apa now..yg pasti i tak nak lost my cats..i buntu sesgt.PLzzz help me.. i tak tahu nak story kat saper coz bukn senang nak cari cat lovers mcm u all.
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Old 07-01-2010, 11:41 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

ciannye kat u..xtau nak komen pe..
mmg dilema la mcm ni..
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  #5  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:46 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Farah, akak have to agree with FK dear.
1st taim aku dengar Mek Mod kiter panggil aku "dear" ....
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Old 07-01-2010, 11:53 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Salam Farrahnize......

I too agree with Furkids.
If you give him to him now... later he will again find some lame excuse in the future.
I am sorry that this has to happen to you lebih lebih dalam keadaan pregnant lagi
Banyak banyak bersabar.
Kalo boleh cuba slow talk ngan dia.... cuba tanya dia naper dia berubah. Maybe dia tengah stress ngan kerja or stress sebab nak timang anak pertama tu yang dia jadi macam tu.
Ingat apa apa pun masalah semua boleh diselesaikan ngan baik. Insyaallah....
If you need someone to talk too.... just PM me.
I am willing to listen and give you my shoulder to cry on.....
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Old 07-01-2010, 11:53 AM
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Default Dalam dilema

Sepatutnya ada comma afer nama ko,tp takpelah.dear pun dearlah.hehehehe!!

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1st taim aku dengar Mek Mod kiter panggil aku "dear" ....
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  #8  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:59 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Ya Allah...takpe farrahnize...(banyak2 sabar yer...) mungkin dia tertekan dgn apa2 masalah....? bg dia peluang utk meminta maaf.....
dah lega skit, cuba dekati n bercakap elok2 dgnnya...lama2 nanti dia akan sedar n insafi diri.....

bagus u luahkan kat sini, kurang2nya leh kurangkan stress ....tenang kan hati relaxkan fikirkan...jgn lupa bykkan makan buah2 yg kaya vit c...(leh ilang sedikit tekanan)...tambah2 u tgh pregnant kan......k

harap ok selepas ni...doa selalu....
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:05 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by Felix The Cat View Post
Salam Farrahnize......

I too agree with Furkids.
If you give him to him now... later he will again find some lame excuse in the future.
I am sorry that this has to happen to you lebih lebih dalam keadaan pregnant lagi
Banyak banyak bersabar.
Kalo boleh cuba slow talk ngan dia.... cuba tanya dia naper dia berubah. Maybe dia tengah stress ngan kerja or stress sebab nak timang anak pertama tu yang dia jadi macam tu.
Ingat apa apa pun masalah semua boleh diselesaikan ngan baik. Insyaallah....
If you need someone to talk too.... just PM me.
I am willing to listen and give you my shoulder to cry on.....
thanks for ur opinion....Actually this is our 2nd baby n i now 7th months pregnant.So far i arrange rumah tak pernah harapkan dia.Balik kerja amik anak kat nursery, vakum n kemas rumah.Pastu masak.If tak larat i beli jer.Basuh baju sidai baju...lipat baju...means eve i arrangge without susahkan dia.I'm willing too coz i tak nak dia babling bout my cats tp hari2 itulah kerja dia.Keikhlasan tiada dlm jiwa....Segalanya jadi tak rela!!
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:12 PM
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Default Dalam dilema

Sorry ya Farah klu akak being blunt. Lelaki Asia mmg perangai mcm ni.Klu akak jd ko,akak mogok satu ari.Suma tak payah buat.Biar dia buat sendiri.Baru tau senang tak jd isteri yg bekerja. Maaf klu akak ckp kebanyakkan yg begini ialah typical lelaki Melayu.Pasal tu kdg kdg kita tgk ramai perempuan kita yg kahwin dgn mat salleh coz lelaki Melayu ni klu bersyarah pasal agama part yg dia faham bab kahwin 4 tp bab lain durang tak hafal.In short, lelaki kita are not gentlemen tp diktator.

Akak punya budak kat ofis pun ada suami mcm ni.Akak kesian tgk dia kat ofis,tengah sarat mengandung kena fikir rmh,anak sulung.Laki dia balik terbongkang je,tak pernah tlg apa apa. Bg akak,klu suami perangai begini,duit hasil kita bekerja simpan utk kita,satu sen pun jgn spend apa apa utk dia. What should we?? Bukan dia pernah kongsi apa apa dgn kita.

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
thanks for ur opinion....Actually this is our 2nd baby n i now 7th months pregnant.So far i arrange rumah tak pernah harapkan dia.Balik kerja amik anak kat nursery, vakum n kemas rumah.Pastu masak.If tak larat i beli jer.Basuh baju sidai baju...lipat baju...means eve i arrangge without susahkan dia.I'm willing too coz i tak nak dia babling bout my cats tp hari2 itulah kerja dia.Keikhlasan tiada dlm jiwa....Segalanya jadi tak rela!!
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:18 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Salam farrahnize,

maaf wan masuk mencelah..... anyway kalau boleh wan nasihatkan jgn lah sampai berpisah kerana dalam mana agama pun tak digalakkan berkahwin untuk berpisah.... tapi apa kan daya allah menentukandalam segala kejadian, dalam kes awak nie wan rasa awak kena jugak bertegas dari segi psikologi and hak..... dari segi kekeluargaan memang husband you adalah ketua keluarga dan boleh menetukan keputusan akan tetapi keputusan tue jangan terlalu menyimpang dari akidah serta kepentingan hidup.... allah ciptakan haiwan untuk banyak tujuan dan salah satu nya untuk mengeratkan lagi satu2 hubungan, teantang ugutan untuk mencincang kucing awak tue, boleh tak wan tau ia nya melalui sms atau perbualan...... jika ada melibatkan sms perkara sebegitu boleh dijadikan bukti untuk awak kemukakan saman akta penindasan haiwan kanun keseksaan 44 (1a) atau section 45......... namun keputusan dekat tangan awak..... andai kata awak nak buat keputusan yang melibatkan perkara begini.... minta lah nasihat orang yang terdekat tentang tindakan yang awak ambil samada sebagai cat lovers, ibu atau isteri.... kami di sini cuma mampu memberi buah fikiran serta nasihta akan tetapi keputusan semua di tangan awak, di harap husband awak tak pernah melakukan kekasaran terhadap awak kerana kemungkinan besar perkara sebegitu boleh berlaku dari apa yang wan baca dan fahami dalam post awak kat atas.... awak sebagai wanita, isteri dan ibu lebih diberi hak perlindungan berbanding dengan kita orang lelaki nie...... wan pernah menjadi suami dan sesetngah suami disini mungkin tahu kenapa suami awak showing his true colour...... lagi satu wan nak tambah yang awak berhak untuk mendapatkan tindakan undang2 melalui akta penderaan minda untuk perkara yang berlaku kat awak..... diharap serba sedikit dapat membantu dan awak boleh hubungi wan di talian 0165799601-Wan untuk serba sedikit pertanyaan......., maaf andai kata-kata wan ada menyinggung.......

kyzoor
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:30 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Well done and very well said, Wan ... you noticed and touched on the abusiveness of the relationship, very observant of you. Yes, it is only a matter of time before the verbal abuse escalates into physical abuse and Farrahnize is a woman and heavily pregnant pulak tu ... memang nampak dahsyat perangai si suami (absolutely inexcusable) and I too fear for her physical safety, not to mention the anak bulus punyer safety. The potential physical harm towards all of them is very, very real indeed.

Farrahnize, pls take care! We are all here to support you and all your furry and non-furry kids.
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:33 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
thanks for ur opinion....Actually this is our 2nd baby n i now 7th months pregnant.So far i arrange rumah tak pernah harapkan dia.Balik kerja amik anak kat nursery, vakum n kemas rumah.Pastu masak.If tak larat i beli jer.Basuh baju sidai baju...lipat baju...means eve i arrangge without susahkan dia.I'm willing too coz i tak nak dia babling bout my cats tp hari2 itulah kerja dia.Keikhlasan tiada dlm jiwa....Segalanya jadi tak rela!!
You are most welcome....
Dengan cara sharing at least you boleh mengurangkan tekanan tu.
Sekarang nie your husband dah taken you for granted sebab you wat segalanya......
Cuba ikut kata Kak June.... Farrah mogok sampai la dia berubah. Farrah just wat kerja untuk diri Farrrah dan juga untuk ank je. Tengok macam mana. Sabar sabar dengan ugutan dia tu. Rasanya dia tu cakap je.... bukan dia berani wat pun....
Kalo dia wat report je kat SPCA.
Baru padan muka dia....
Sorry terkasar sikit....
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:56 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Dia bagi SMS....'Ikutkan hati aku skrg,aku sanggup cincang sekor2 kucing nie.'N last msg dia ckp dia nak cari rumah lain coz tak sanggup stay dgn anak2 bulus yg ramai.Kenapa bg farrah...melihatkan tingkah laku budak2 tuh mendtgkan ketenangan n menggembirakan.Tp tidak bagi dia.I dah call my mom n my mom suh bebyk berdoa.Sembahyang hajat...Farrah pernah janji dgn 4 kittens yg i jumpa dulu...'doakan rezeki mama murah supaya mama dapat beli rumah yg ader tanah utk mama jaga u all"...Doa mereka dimakbulkan tp kenapa perlu farrah lupakan janji farrah....farrah mungkin boleh hidup tanpa dia tapi my son n my new coming baby.......???
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Old 07-01-2010, 01:03 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Dia bagi SMS....'Ikutkan hati aku skrg,aku sanggup cincang sekor2 kucing nie.'N last msg dia ckp dia nak cari rumah lain coz tak sanggup stay dgn anak2 bulus yg ramai.Kenapa bg farrah...melihatkan tingkah laku budak2 tuh mendtgkan ketenangan n menggembirakan.Tp tidak bagi dia.I dah call my mom n my mom suh bebyk berdoa.Sembahyang hajat...Farrah pernah janji dgn 4 kittens yg i jumpa dulu...'doakan rezeki mama murah supaya mama dapat beli rumah yg ader tanah utk mama jaga u all"...Doa mereka dimakbulkan tp kenapa perlu farrah lupakan janji farrah....farrah mungkin boleh hidup tanpa dia tapi my son n my new coming baby.......???
Sabar Farrah......
Memang susah nak wat pilihan nie....
Tapi kalo keadaan dah jadi macam nie and dah tak boleh di bawa bincang... lebih baik Farrah teruskan hidup tanpa dia.
Akk yakin yang Farrah, anak dan anak bulus akan lebih bahagia tanpa kehadiran dia.
Memang susah untuk anak kecil tapi..... dah tak ada pilihan lain.
For your information, akk pun single mother juga tapi berpisah atas dasar ex husband sakit mental dan abuse akk. Oleh desakkan parents, akk ceraikan dia. Memang mula mula susah nak hidup bersendirian tanpa kehadiran insan bernama suami tapi ALHAMDULILAH.... akk lebih SENANG, TENANG DAN BAHAGIA TANPA KEHADIRAN INSAN YANG BERNAMA SUAMI NIE. Dengan support dari parents, kakak, adik dan kawan kawan, akk dapat juga terus hidup sampai la hari nie.
Farrah sembahyang Tahujud dan minta Allah beri petunjuk kat Farrah tapi akk pasti dan yakin Farrah akan lebih bahagia tanpa dia.
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Old 07-01-2010, 01:05 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Farrah, tanya juga hati what kind of Papa is your hubby and apa role-model baik yg dia tunjukkan kepada mereka, marah-marah, ugut, melaksanakan kekejaman mental dan emotional at a time when Farrah is 7-month heavily pregnant with his own flesh and blood? What loving and responsible man does that to the woman he loves?

Even if you do leave him as you can survive without him (obviously you will be a happier woman), do remember that in this world, there are many wonderful men and will be proud to love you for the wonderful, loving and responsible person that you are. Not all men are bad like him. We all make mistakes as humans, you made a mistake loving him who is a bad apple, you can pick yourself up and move on to a better and brighter future for yourself and your kids with a better man who will be a great dad to your kids and love them as if they are his very own. There a lots of fantastic stepdads. Just be true to yourself and be brave, kay?
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Old 07-01-2010, 01:06 PM
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Default Dalam dilema

Farah, sometimes dlm dunia ni,lbh baik kita get rid benda yg menjadi beban dari terpaksa memikirkan masalah yg membelenggu Farah seumur hidup.

Akak ada kwn akak yg terpaksa menanggung masalah dgn suami yg perangai begini.Smp satu tahap dia tak tahan dan berpisah. Skrg ni dia lbh gembira dgn 2 anaknya & tak perlu memikirkan parasit yg dulu selalu menganggu hidupnya

Bagaimanapun cubalah Farah bincang elok elok dulu dgn dia.Org klu marah akan mengeluarkan kata kata yg tak elok. Bila keadaan dah reda, baru sedar terlepas ckp. Bila dia dlm keadaan normal Farah cuba bincang lg sekali. Selepas tu baru buat keputusan.

Tp klu dia mula bersikap kasar secara fizikal,eloklah angkat kaki secepat mgkn. Lelaki yg mengkasari perempuan secara fizikal akan melakukannya again and again. They will never change.

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Dia bagi SMS....'Ikutkan hati aku skrg,aku sanggup cincang sekor2 kucing nie.'N st msg dia ckp dia nak cari rumah lain coz tak sanggup stay dgn anak2 bulus yg ramai.Kenapa bg farrah...melihatkan tingkah laku budak2 tuh mendtgkan ketenangan n menggembirakan.Tp tidak bagi dia.I dah call my mom n my mom suh bebyk berdoa.Sembahyang hajat...Farrah pernah janji dgn 4 kittens yg i jumpa dulu...'doakan rezeki mama murah supaya mama dapat beli rumah yg ader tanah utk mama jaga u all"...Doa mereka dimakbulkan tp kenapa perlu farrah lupakan janji farrah....farrah mungkin boleh hidup tanpa dia tapi my son n my new coming baby.......???
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Old 07-01-2010, 01:12 PM
Kyzoor Kyzoor is offline
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrahnize View Post
Dia bagi SMS....'Ikutkan hati aku skrg,aku sanggup cincang sekor2 kucing nie.'N last msg dia ckp dia nak cari rumah lain coz tak sanggup stay dgn anak2 bulus yg ramai.Kenapa bg farrah...melihatkan tingkah laku budak2 tuh mendtgkan ketenangan n menggembirakan.Tp tidak bagi dia.I dah call my mom n my mom suh bebyk berdoa.Sembahyang hajat...Farrah pernah janji dgn 4 kittens yg i jumpa dulu...'doakan rezeki mama murah supaya mama dapat beli rumah yg ader tanah utk mama jaga u all"...Doa mereka dimakbulkan tp kenapa perlu farrah lupakan janji farrah....farrah mungkin boleh hidup tanpa dia tapi my son n my new coming baby.......???

Salam farrah,

Maksudnya dia bagitau melalui sms, sekarang wan dah faham, secara amnya memang ayat sebegitu boleh dikategorikan dalam kes ugutan, kedua kes penindasan terhadap haiwan, ketika penderaan minda, hanya dengan satu sms begitu, namun seperti yang wan nyatakan dalam wan punya previous post, Wan tak galakkan perpisahan, dan ada benar nya apa yang org tue Farrah sarankan untuk sembahyang hajat dan bersabar kerana melalui kesabaran serta ketenangan barulah kita boleh membuat satu keputusan dengan akal fikiran yang waras, Farrah kena jaga juga hubungan perkahwinan walau husband Farrah tue tak bertanggungjawab namun tak selamanya manusia bersabar. Bila sampai satu tahap hinggakan kesabaran tercabar, cuba lah untuk muhasabah diri ambik masa dan hilangkan diri dari situasi sejenak untuk berfikir,dan pikirkan apa yang terbaik unruk diri Farah apabila Farrah rasa tiada peluang untuk husband farah berubah, dan satu lagi jalan adalah perlu ada pihak ketiga untuk berbincang dan yang pastinya orang tersebut adalah orang yang Farrah and Husband kenal rapat dan tahu masalah both of you AKAN TETAPI disegani oleh both of you....... mungkin tak banyak yang wan dapat bantu farrah tetapi kes macam Farrah nie wan pernah dapat and kaunseling, namun keputusan di tangan Farrah.... dan wan pun dah nyatakan u kena lah kuat kan your psikologi and HAK Farrah...... Wan dapat rasa apa yang farrah alami..... namun yang memikul nya lebih berat dari yang mendengar.....

Kyzoor
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  #19  
Old 07-01-2010, 01:24 PM
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linda_gamble linda_gamble is offline
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

aduhai kenapa sampai jadik macam nie.
sbb kucing perbalahan boleh berlaku.
banyak-banyak berdoa farah.
insyaallah tuhan akan tunjukkan jalan.

kami disini hanya mampu memberi nasihat.
andai baik ikotlah.
andai tidak masuk akal..abaikan.
aperpon kami di sini akan cuba pertahankan apa jua hak yang farah ada.

hari ini hari farah.
hari esok mungkin hari kita.
lebih-lebih lagie pada kami yang belum berkahwin.
risau jugak jadik benda macam nie.
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Old 07-01-2010, 02:19 PM
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farrahnize farrahnize is offline
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by linda_gamble View Post
aduhai kenapa sampai jadik macam nie.
sbb kucing perbalahan boleh berlaku.
banyak-banyak berdoa farah.
insyaallah tuhan akan tunjukkan jalan.

kami disini hanya mampu memberi nasihat.
andai baik ikotlah.
andai tidak masuk akal..abaikan.
aperpon kami di sini akan cuba pertahankan apa jua hak yang farah ada.

hari ini hari farah.
hari esok mungkin hari kita.
lebih-lebih lagie pada kami yang belum berkahwin.
risau jugak jadik benda macam nie.

Semoga bertemu dengan org yg sehati dan sejiwa.Yg pasti kenal lah dulu hati budinyer.Mcm farrah dulu mmg nampak dia sygkan kucing.Terlepas pandang yg rumah parent dia takder kucing.Org yg sygkan n sukakan kucing biasanyer heritage.Mcm parent f sygkan kucing....all my siblings pun sygkan kucing.Td check up Blood presurre low sesgt.81/55.Kena bising lak dgn Doctor...Maybe coz mlm tadi tak leh tidur n still worried dgn my babies kat rumah coz my hubby ader kat rumah now.Rasa mcm nak balik rumah kejap tgk derang tp kena speed lak.Tawakkal jer lah...
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