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  #41  
Old 07-01-2010, 05:39 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Klu dah berkorban segalanya pastu suami buat dek what are u going to do?? Kita sbg pompuan kenalah tau hak sbg isteri dirmh. Bukan kita saja yg kena mengalah selalu dgn suami dan ikut telunjuk suami walau tau benda tu tak betul. Lelaki skrg tak sama dgn dulu. Org pompuan walau sekolah tinggi mcm mana pun bila bab hati dan perasaan akan longlai dah kalah walaupun tau benda tu salah. Org lelaki pula mengambil kesempatan atas kelemahan kita utk manfaat dia.

Emak saya selalu pesan,biar pun dah ada suami u must have your own money and be independent woman. Bila suami cari lain atau mati/jodoh tak panjang at least kita blh bangun dan cari kehidupan yg baru dari berendam air mata tiap tiap ari sedangkan si polan tu tengah bersuka ria.

Jd kesimpulannya, berkorban pun ada batas dan had. Jgn smp diri sendiri yg terkorban. Is not worth it.
mana ye butang like macam dekat fb tu?ish..takda plak...
tapi...like!like!like!

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  #42  
Old 07-01-2010, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Kak June, kita kata 'lelaki sekarang tak sama ngan lelaki dulu' tapi Fk nanti akan kata 'perempuan sekarang tak sama dengan perempuan dulu' It goes both ways I guess..

Saya tak kawin lagi sbb masih tak yakin dan tak sedia.hehehe tapi i believe it's all about chemistry and as kak June said..tolerate and accepting each other.. and adding to that, I rasa both husband+wife sepatutnya adalah kawan baik.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche


farah, as others said right now the most important is your unborn child. try not to be depressed kay.. Insyallah, the least we could do to pray for your well-being.. Marriage is a gamble anyway..it's 50% luck 30% destiny and 20% trust.. You gambled, and do your best. the higher power will do the rest..Whatever it is, there's always reasons behind every little things that happen..
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  #43  
Old 07-01-2010, 07:42 PM
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Default Dalam dilema

Kasih,org pompuan skrg ni jd mcm ni disebabkan lelaki. Dulu org lelaki jd suami menjaga isteri/anak,mendidik,membimbing, melindungi family. Tp lelaki zmn skrg kita pula kena jaga dia mcm baby tua. Pastu trend skrg ni,lelaki dok rmh goyang kaki mkn tido,bini membanting tulang kat luar cari rezeki. Mcm mana nak harapkan suami sbg ketua keluarga??

Mcm akak dan suami. Akak jenis peramah/kecoh & dia pula jenis pendiam. Satu keluarga dia suma mmg jenis pendiam & yg ckp ditanya sepatah dijawab sepatah. Bapa dia tok iman masjid. Ko blh bayangkan fesyen keluarga suami akak. Family akak pula,mmg femes kat Tmn Sri Gaya di KK.heheheh!! Tanya mana rumah si mama si June?? tuh hah kat sana. Yg riuh rendah tu Kita org klu dah berjumpa 8 beradik,bercakap mcm sorang kat Jln Raja Laut dan sorang lg kat Jln TAR. Suami akak first time dtg,dia terpinga pinga ingat kita org bergaduh. Maklumlah akak ni jenis panas baran & cepat naik angin. Dia pula jenis cool dan diam je. Family akak ni mmg liberal.Masing masing diberi hak utk bercakap & beri pendapat. So pakat lumba suma nak cakap

Ko bayangkan mcm mana kami nak satukan 2 keluarga yg berbeza background?? Jawabannya suami & akak kena mainkan peranan masing masing. Mmg bukan senang tp sgt berbaloi bila kami berjaya. Skrg ni akak anak tiri kpd mak akak. Suami akak anak dia. Klu ada hal sikit,dia mesti kata akak ni yg degil,keras kepala tak mau dengar suami cakap.hmmm

Quote:
Originally Posted by nurkasih View Post
Kak June, kita kata 'lelaki sekarang tak sama ngan lelaki dulu' tapi Fk nanti akan kata 'perempuan sekarang tak sama dengan perempuan dulu' It goes both ways I guess..

Saya tak kawin lagi sbb masih tak yakin dan tak sedia.hehehe tapi i believe it's all about chemistry and as kak June said..tolerate and accepting each other.. and adding to that, I rasa both husband+wife sepatutnya adalah kawan baik.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche


farah, as others said right now the most important is your unborn child. try not to be depressed kay.. Insyallah, the least we could do to pray for your well-being.. Marriage is a gamble anyway..it's 50% luck 30% destiny and 20% trust.. You gambled, and do your best. the higher power will do the rest..Whatever it is, there's always reasons behind every little things that happen..
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  #44  
Old 07-01-2010, 09:50 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

sory..im too young to gve opinion but i want u to know that you still have us and we're willing to help n support u..
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  #45  
Old 07-01-2010, 10:15 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Semoga farrah temu jalan penyelesaian. InsyaAllah.

Hiba hati membaca setiap masalah dan setiap perbincangan.
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  #46  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:47 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Salam..

Sorry tiba2 mencelah...

awal2 thread nie start sy dah baca, tp bila tgk nie adalah mengenai your family problem, I tak begitu nak join... but then bila dah tgk thread nie semakin panjang, I tak baca sangat laa isi kandungannye.. but my personnal oppinion, masalah rumah tangga, you perlu selesaikan dengan your husband or family yg terdekat, and yang tau deeper pasal your family... asking outsiders yang hanya tahu dari pembacaan and asked their oppinion, I rase kurang sesuai untuk isu seperti ini... Ini adalah isu besar, its about your family...

mmg sy blom berkahwin lagi, but this is my personnal opinion.. you better discuss with your husband or family...

sorry mencelah sket :D...
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  #47  
Old 07-02-2010, 01:06 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Salam Farah,

sorry to ask you for a kind of question that is keep crossing in my mind.......... wat is the different between the discussion in this forum and another forum down here........

http://forums.petfinder.my/showthread.php?t=4478

is't the same meaning? sorry coz im a bit confused......

Kyzoor
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  #48  
Old 07-02-2010, 04:00 AM
nur azua nur azua is offline
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Salam Kak Farah..

Baru je bace thread ni..sadis jugak baca..well, dah banyak nasihat dari PF member..& i hope dengan sume tu kak farah rasa kuranglah sikit beban tu..

wawa rasa your husband still tengah sangat marah waktu dia sms akak. so, memang orang yang tengah marah and tak boleh nak control marah tu akan cakap/type bukan3. jadinya kak farah janganlah risau kalau dia sms nak cincang sume kucing akak tu. larat plak dia kan..kemas rumah pon tak rajin.. unless kalau he's really out of his mind, insyaAllah dia buat..tapi dari apa yang wawa baca, seolah3 dia masih marah..pahamlah orang tengah marah..maybe tunggu dia chill dulu..you two should have discuss bout the real problem (what makes him really mad)..berpisah bkn jalan utama penyelesaian..

akak kan tengah pregnant..tak mau la sedih3 ok..cheer up! sedih tak elok untuk akak & the baby..senyumla.. senyum kuat3..biar rase tenang & mudah sikit perasaan tu.. sabar banyak3..banyakkn doa & zikir supaya hati akak tenang.. Allah tu Maha Mendengar apa jua rayuan hambaNYA..

teringat ada simpan ayat quran untuk kebahgiaan rumah tangga..elok & boleh diamalkan..dapat dari rancangan semanis kurma..
-surah al-Ahqaf ayat 15
-surah al-Furqan ayat 74
-surah an-Naml ayat 19

wawa doakan masalah akak ni dapat jalan penyelesaian yang sebaik2nya..maaf kalau ada salah cakap ye kak..

*mau ade rumah tangga tapi jadi takot pulak bace thread ni*
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  #49  
Old 07-02-2010, 08:26 AM
mieraonepj mieraonepj is offline
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

kite semua yg ada di sini memberi semangt untuk farah. idea2 yang dilontarkan boleh dipertimbangkan oleh farah.

Allah sedang menguji umatnya, jgn hanya kerana perkara seperti ini kita gagal dalam ujian Nya. oleh itu kembali memohon doa kepada Allah semoga farah n asben di beri petunjuk dan kekuatan memilih jalan terbaik. dan kemudian barulah buat keputusan yang terbaik dalam diri farah...

apepun keep in touch with me. fikirkan dalam2. semua org di sini akan membantu sebaik2nya. insya Allah...
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  #50  
Old 07-02-2010, 09:06 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Walaupun saya orang luar, saya teliti dan membuat analisis problem Farrah sepertimana polis, pakar perubatan/psikologi, mahkamah, mana-mana pihak women/animal abuse support group would take note and look at things.

Dan berikut adalah perkara-perkara yg glaring/unsettling (which many kind and well-meaning penasihat overlook - or ask Farrah to overlook although she is the innocent and suffering victim and he is the abuser) - I will not mince my words:

1. Farrah sekarang sarat mengandung dengan darah daging dia sendiri, suffering low blood pressure, boleh pitam bila-bila masa dan beliau tidak membantu dengan kerja rumah atau berada disisi bini ke klinik. Being angry is no excuse. This is irresponsibility and non-caring. Even strangers nampak orang tua/cacat/budak nak melintas jalan, mereka pergi tolong. What more, this is your WIFE pregnant with your own UNBORN CHILD!

2. Dia kata nak cincang kucing: Walaupun dia kata tetapi belum dan mungkin tidak akan buat, the fact is banyak jenayah yg berlaku tu the penjenayah dah buat ugutan terlebih dahulu. Juga, jenis ugutan yg dia buat nie, makes us animal lovers sick! What kind of Papa will he be to the kids? Jadi pencincang binatang? Be irresponsible, unkind and abuse your own wives and kids when you grow up? Be uncaring and disrespecful towards their own mother Farrah the way he is? Not fit to be a husband or father! He has the potential to be a criminal.

3. Dia kata kalau ikut hati dia nak kawin lain: What loving husband breaks her heart by saying words macam nie to his loving pregnant wife? Not too long married pulak tu. Farrah, I tell you, kalau dia dah boleh mengeluarkan kata-kata mcm nie, huh, memang dia dah berhasrat pasang cawangan cuma dia nak put the fault on you as if you are the bad and guilty wife and dia "terpaksa" berbuat demikian. He wants to avoid being seen as the guilty party and kena bamboo. It is a common tactic of abusers.
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  #51  
Old 07-02-2010, 09:38 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by nurkasih View Post
Kak June, kita kata 'lelaki sekarang tak sama ngan lelaki dulu' tapi Fk nanti akan kata 'perempuan sekarang tak sama dengan perempuan dulu' It goes both ways I guess..
Well, Nurkasih, I would definitely say that 'perempuan sekarang tak sama dengan perempuan dulu' but not in the way you and June would probably think I would do, I don't know ... not with the normal male ego thing but in a very objective manner as I care and respect people like my mother and sisters.

Definitely things have changed for women all over the world although in many parts the progress is still much too slow and the women are suffering much. But then again, some of women's worst enemies are women themselves. They hold their more progressive sisters back, condemning them saying that it is not the way of the women and that they must be all submissive, non-thinking and obeying the commands of their men all the time.

But as God gave men a brain each, He also gave each woman one. And women now have much opportunity to a good education (education is what makes us free and oppressive nations deny their people of education so that they will not learn how to think for themselves and start questioning things).

In our schools, the girls have overtaken the boys academically and their exam results are better than the boys. This led our former PM to chide the boys, asking "What are you going to do? You sit at home, clean the house and look after the kids while your wives go out to work, have a career and earn money because she is smarter than you and can earn more money so you might as well stay home and do housework!"

And because women are more educated and informed (especially of their rights which are often denied them even now), as well as independent, especially financially, they are in a better position not to just sit down and take any old bullshit from guys. They are in a better position to stand up and tell the lousy guy to get lost.

Dulu punyer time susah, due to lack of education opportunities, it is hard to get a decent paying job which will give you a little bit of independence, not to mention a little of your very own money to indulge/pamper yourself to make you feel good and happy as a human being.

Sebab tu lah, the stronger and independent people in this forum tells Farrah to protect herself and her kids (furry and nonfurry) from the parasite in her life who is nothing but trouble for her. She and her kids definitely deserve better. My mother and aunties did not have much opportunities dulu, and had to put up with much.

But Farrah is different. This is the 21st century.
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  #52  
Old 07-02-2010, 09:51 AM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by prinz38i View Post
Salam..

Sorry tiba2 mencelah...

awal2 thread nie start sy dah baca, tp bila tgk nie adalah mengenai your family problem, I tak begitu nak join... but then bila dah tgk thread nie semakin panjang, I tak baca sangat laa isi kandungannye.. but my personnal oppinion, masalah rumah tangga, you perlu selesaikan dengan your husband or family yg terdekat, and yang tau deeper pasal your family... asking outsiders yang hanya tahu dari pembacaan and asked their oppinion, I rase kurang sesuai untuk isu seperti ini... Ini adalah isu besar, its about your family...

mmg sy blom berkahwin lagi, but this is my personnal opinion.. you better discuss with your husband or family...

sorry mencelah sket :D...
Sorry la, Ramzee, I beg to differ ... this is not about "family" ... this is about "abuse" ... this is about a poor 7-month pregnant woman being abused by ther own husband (who is supposed to love, care for and protect her from harm) seeking help and emotional support.

That is the frustrating problem sometimes at the police station pun. The badly beaten up wife struggles to the police station to make a police report and the police tell her to go home, it is a domestic dispute!

The poor girl gets raped and people point fingers and say she wore revealing clothes and hence invited it! Hey, even pakai tudung tutup sampai kaki oso get raped on the bus la! Wrinkled 50 year old grandma pun kena la! And sometimes the rapist is her own father!

No, this is about abuse and abuse (even emotional/mental and he has never physically struck you) is chargeable under law ... even though he is your husband.

And, oh ... BTW there is also such a thing as marital rape.
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  #53  
Old 07-02-2010, 02:00 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyzoor View Post
Salam Farah,

sorry to ask you for a kind of question that is keep crossing in my mind.......... wat is the different between the discussion in this forum and another forum down here........

http://forums.petfinder.my/showthread.php?t=4478

is't the same meaning? sorry coz im a bit confused......

Kyzoor
Wan, aku pun konpius.
harap dapat leraikan ke'konpius'an ini. :))
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  #54  
Old 07-02-2010, 03:14 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Untuk saya tiada keliruan. Thread satu tu adalah di mana Farrah mintak tolong nak cari orang adoptkan beberapa ekor kucing beliau tanpa menyebutkan masalah peribadi secara mendalam. Cuma bagi tahu ada masalah menjaga kucing yg bilangan berbelas tu memandangkan beliau sedang sarat mengandung. Biasa lah tu, kalau boleh, siapa lah nak membongkarkan masalah yg amat peribadi, kan.

Tetapi thread yg ini timbul apabila si Farrah rasa terdesak dan tekanan jiwa yg teramat akibat masalah rumahtangga yg bertambah buruk. That's all right, biasa la, kita kan manusia bersama. You must remember that she is pregnant and under a lot of stress. Mengandung tu dah lah ada stress nya yg sendiri, ni bertambah pula oleh suami yg selfish, immature dan kejam. Pastu pergi target anak bulus kesayangan beliau nak cincang ... bukan kata Farrah sahaja, orang biasa dengar pun tak boleh tolerate sebab macam lihat orang speeding cuai dan terlanggar orang yg melintas jalan. Atau nampak neighbour pukul anak keterlaluan. This is our civic mindedness dalam masyarakat lah kira nya.

Satu thread minta tolong cari adoption utk kucing, satu lagi minta emotional support and advice for personal problems. No problem!
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  #55  
Old 07-02-2010, 03:19 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by tediber View Post
Wan, aku pun konpius.
harap dapat leraikan ke'konpius'an ini. :))
Thanks for ur concern..Actualy the first threat yg i post tu pun due to the same reason.My hubby bising2 bout my babies n I decide utk cari adopter for them.Simple things couse by them willl make him lost his mind n keep him babling all the time.So, at that time i want to find better place for my babies so they can get love not just maki hamun.But on the time one adopter call me to adopt CABU rasa sedih giler n i have to cancell it.Really sorry 'pakcik' from PUTRAJAYA.Means...bukn kata nak 'buang' bebudk tu..utk bagi kat org lain pun i tak sanggup berpisah...LOve them so much!!thats y..N this threat i post bukn pasal i nak dedahkan keburukan hal rumah tangga i just nak dptkan better opinion n suggestion from kind hearted like u guys...Thats all n sorry if this threat menyebabkan certain2 forumers tak boleh terima...Whatever it is thank for all of u...Mlm tadi i discuss dgn my mum n she agreed to adopt 7 of my babies.Insyallah...nest week i dah arrange dgn NANAS(PUSAT PERLINDUNGAN HAIWAN BAHTERA NOH) utk spay/neuter derang so Betty takkan beranak lagi...Thanks to kak yam n my mum for understanding me so much...LUV U ALL!!...n last but not least to Mieraonepj...Thanks...I'm very sorry n luv u ...
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  #56  
Old 07-02-2010, 03:37 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by FurKids View Post
Untuk saya tiada keliruan. Thread satu tu adalah di mana Farrah mintak tolong nak cari orang adoptkan beberapa ekor kucing beliau tanpa menyebutkan masalah peribadi secara mendalam. Cuma bagi tahu ada masalah menjaga kucing yg bilangan berbelas tu memandangkan beliau sedang sarat mengandung. Biasa lah tu, kalau boleh, siapa lah nak membongkarkan masalah yg amat peribadi, kan.

Tetapi thread yg ini timbul apabila si Farrah rasa terdesak dan tekanan jiwa yg teramat akibat masalah rumahtangga yg bertambah buruk. That's all right, biasa la, kita kan manusia bersama. You must remember that she is pregnant and under a lot of stress. Mengandung tu dah lah ada stress nya yg sendiri, ni bertambah pula oleh suami yg selfish, immature dan kejam. Pastu pergi target anak bulus kesayangan beliau nak cincang ... bukan kata Farrah sahaja, orang biasa dengar pun tak boleh tolerate sebab macam lihat orang speeding cuai dan terlanggar orang yg melintas jalan. Atau nampak neighbour pukul anak keterlaluan. This is our civic mindedness dalam masyarakat lah kira nya.

Satu thread minta tolong cari adoption utk kucing, satu lagi minta emotional support and advice for personal problems. No problem!
Thanks for understanding my situation FurKids.....I buntu sesgt..thats y i mintak pendapat member2 semer n thanks all
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  #57  
Old 07-02-2010, 03:58 PM
tlllastar tlllastar is offline
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Wow, FK. you should open classes to educate men (refering to post at 9.38am) hehehe and maybe some women too.

*sorry for out of topic a lil* I did a survey of rape cases in malaysia and what ppl thinks of them in the 2nd year of my uni. and these surveys are handed out only to uni students of diff yr/diff races/diff religion. yet, what was startling to me is that, there are a large number of these uni gals that still thinks it's the women's fault for 'inviting' rapist with tight clothing etc... so geram i see that kind of response. i get angrier when I see guys answer that way

women should be obedient to the husband but only to an extend, not bend to his every will. relationship is a 2 way thing. Both needs to be committed and fulfill their responsibility. even in primary school we learnt that 'tepuk sebelah tangan tak kan berbunyi'

this case, the lady tepuk with tangan, the man hentam with duri, takkan the lady keep tepuk? *sorry if you find this metaphor weird =P* but that's how it looks like la....

support FK's words of wisdom
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  #58  
Old 07-02-2010, 04:08 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by tlllastar View Post
Wow, FK. you should open classes to educate men (refering to post at 9.38am) hehehe and maybe some women too.

*sorry for out of topic a lil* I did a survey of rape cases in malaysia and what ppl thinks of them in the 2nd year of my uni. and these surveys are handed out only to uni students of diff yr/diff races/diff religion. yet, what was startling to me is that, there are a large number of these uni gals that still thinks it's the women's fault for 'inviting' rapist with tight clothing etc... so geram i see that kind of response. i get angrier when I see guys answer that way

women should be obedient to the husband but only to an extend, not bend to his every will. relationship is a 2 way thing. Both needs to be committed and fulfill their responsibility. even in primary school we learnt that 'tepuk sebelah tangan tak kan berbunyi'

this case, the lady tepuk with tangan, the man hentam with duri, takkan the lady keep tepuk? *sorry if you find this metaphor weird =P* but that's how it looks like la....

support FK's words of wisdom
Tillastar, there are a LOT of wonderful, caring men in this world ... but I believe there are many more wonderful, caring women like Farrah. It is just that I feel secure and confident enough with myself and do not feel bad, threatened or small when someone is better than me, especially a woman, that's all.

These days women are more confident, stronger and more vocal. That is actually all right and good. They have rights too. They are our "better" halves.
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  #59  
Old 07-02-2010, 04:11 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

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Originally Posted by June View Post
Sorry ya Farah klu akak being blunt. Lelaki Asia mmg perangai mcm ni.Klu akak jd ko,akak mogok satu ari.Suma tak payah buat.Biar dia buat sendiri.Baru tau senang tak jd isteri yg bekerja. Maaf klu akak ckp kebanyakkan yg begini ialah typical lelaki Melayu.Pasal tu kdg kdg kita tgk ramai perempuan kita yg kahwin dgn mat salleh coz lelaki Melayu ni klu bersyarah pasal agama part yg dia faham bab kahwin 4 tp bab lain durang tak hafal.In short, lelaki kita are not gentlemen tp diktator.

Akak punya budak kat ofis pun ada suami mcm ni.Akak kesian tgk dia kat ofis,tengah sarat mengandung kena fikir rmh,anak sulung.Laki dia balik terbongkang je,tak pernah tlg apa apa. Bg akak,klu suami perangai begini,duit hasil kita bekerja simpan utk kita,satu sen pun jgn spend apa apa utk dia. What should we?? Bukan dia pernah kongsi apa apa dgn kita.
Aisay June, apa plak sekor punya hal 1 Asia dapat nama busuk?

Fyi, i masak apa dan mmg hari-2 balik kerja terus masuk dapur,pegi pasar, siang lauk pauk seminggu, taik, muntah kucing semua i yg kaut.. menyapu vacuum dan bla..bla..bla.. and my mrs pun ada tanggung jawab dia sendiri... kita kena kongsi lah susah senang sama-2 tapi dah obvious lah yg suami kena tanggung lebih maa... abih badan dan urat ketul-2.. kuat, so keja pun kena kuat dari isteri laaa, bukan kuat atas katil jerrr...

Ini soal individu... tanggung jawab dlm keluarga kena ada tolak ansur... bukan atas dasar bangsa....

Kepada empunya dilemma.. jgn cepat putus asa, cari jalan penyelesaian dan mmg pada waktu ni, perpisahan nampak MACAM jalan terbaik tapi sebenarnya mungkin tidak.... mungkin boleh minta nasihat dari orang-2 yg rapat pada anda berdua. Pada saya, KUCING mungkin bukan masalah ni rasanya... mcm ada benda lain rasanya...

Usia perkahwinan saya dah mencecah 20 tahun.. dan dah biasa lah kekadang tu hal yg remeh temeh pun boleh jadi besar dan tak lekang dari masalah tapi saya anggap itu sebagai asam garam perencah dlm kehidupan.

Nasihat saya, bila husband naik hantu, jgn counter apa-2 pun, mcm pujuk dia nak ganti barang yg rosak and so on sebab kalau jadi pada saya pun ia tidak akan membantu... just relax... biarkan dia nak naik hantu atau polong but make sure u dan anak u in a safe distance dari orang yg kena rasuk mcm ni...
Jadi buat sementara waktu ni, jgn tunjukkan sangat interest pada kucing-2 awak tu...

Saya tak dpt nak bagi nasihat yg lebih baik dari diatas sebab saya tak tahu sebenarnya apa masalah dgn suami anda.... dan seperti yg saya cadangkan, kalau awak tak boleh nak berkomunikasi dgn suami, cari orang tengah utk mendengar apa masalah suami anda.... seelok-nya adik beradik suami yg tahu akan masalah anda... sebelum kita buat apa-2 keputusan, dengar dulu masalah pada pihak yg lain sebab benda-2 pelik lepas kawin mmg biasa jadi laa.. sebelum kawin bergayut dlm telefon 2-3 jam pun takde hal, dah kawin... sendiri mau ingat laaa.... tapi bila dah share 1 katil... mulut jadi berat...
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  #60  
Old 07-02-2010, 05:57 PM
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Default Re: Dalam dilema

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halim66 View Post

Kepada empunya dilemma.. jgn cepat putus asa, cari jalan penyelesaian dan mmg pada waktu ni, perpisahan nampak MACAM jalan terbaik tapi sebenarnya mungkin tidak.... mungkin boleh minta nasihat dari orang-2 yg rapat pada anda berdua. Pada saya, KUCING mungkin bukan masalah ni rasanya... mcm ada benda lain rasanya...

Nasihat saya, bila husband naik hantu, jgn counter apa-2 pun, mcm pujuk dia nak ganti barang yg rosak and so on sebab kalau jadi pada saya pun ia tidak akan membantu... just relax... biarkan dia nak naik hantu atau polong but make sure u dan anak u in a safe distance dari orang yg kena rasuk mcm ni...
Jadi buat sementara waktu ni, jgn tunjukkan sangat interest pada kucing-2 awak tu...
Sekali lagi , am not married tapi i agree sangat sangat dengan halim. I pun rasa masalahnya bukanlah kucing..mesti da ada apa2 sebelum nieh jugak yang membuatkan your husband jadi camtue. Sometimes sbb egoness of both parties and tak mahu berbincang atau tolak ansur pun.kalau the husband tetiba jadik tak betul..nampak cam he needs psych punyer help. Tapi worst thing now, I believe there's something or somethings happened , sedar tak sedar, or ada series of events yang jadi membuatkan he changed. As Halim said also, kaki 4 kena jauhkan buat sementara and pikirkan tentang kaki 2 yang tak lahir itu lagi.

My bf also will try to 'attack' my bulus every now and then..but am not married yet,so I can still smash the car's door and buat toya for few days (come on...we've been dating for 3 years and we are 26..nak majuk majuk dah tak leh terima). After few days, I got to know that dia terasa sbb I lebih tahu pasal makan, minum, sakit, and well-being of my cats then I know about his activities ( he admitted that I show no concern of him). He said he doesn't like my cats yet he has a space ready for my cats at his home. So, as Halim said also, things can be deceiving and as I said it's more to gambling , so we have to take the after effect..and I am not ready to gamble..

You might know your husband more that us do coz you are destine to be his other half. Try to understand him..relocate your 4 anak bulus as you might unable to take care of them anyway..and you need help also coz you'll be in labour sooner or later also.. I pity you coz you are at the utmost / critical situation where you need a husband to be with you and go through this.. so, get off PF and look for people who know you / your family very well so that they can help you through.. the best should be your siblings or his siblings ( that's what my parents did with their siblings)..

I am not trying to offend anyone but I think in this case..most of us have to be rational ait.. Sorry

p/s there's always 2 sides of every story (^^)
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